The sordid pasts of wholesome companies

I was reading this article about Nintendo and how they got their start making naked lady playing cards and owning love hotels (basically a Japanese hotel where you can get a room by the hour), and thought it was funny how Nintendo’s modern reputation is one of wholesome entertainment, shying away from sex and censoring violence at every turn. It got me thinking about other companies that try to maintain wholesome facades but have histories steeped in corruption, moral decay, and depravity. I did some research, and you’re going to be shocked at what I found!

Chick-fil-A, a company known for its Christian values, even mandating that all restaurants close on Sundays so that families can worship together, wasn’t always so squeaky clean.  In fact, when the original incarnation of the restaurant was opened in Hapeville, GA, in 1946, under the name “The Dwarf Grill”, the slogan was not, as pictured above “We Didn’t Invent The Chicken, Just The Chicken Sandwich”.  It was “We Didn’t Invent The Chicken, But Here’s Some Fried Chicken For White People Only”.

Walmart, a behemoth of a company that is famous for offering censored music, and promoting family values, also hides a dark past.  The original Wal-mart in Rogers, Arkansas, was actually a front for the sale and distribution of massive amounts of marijuana.  In fact, the smiley face logo of Walmart finds its origins in “Razorback Lush”, the popular brand of weed available in that area at the time and well-known for being adorned with a giant yellow smiley face sticker.

Everyone knows that the original formula for Coca-Cola contained trace amounts of cocaine, but very few people realize that the mouths of all the original glass bottles were coated with a light layer of LSD and that the sharp edges of the bottle caps would inject heroin directly into your body when grazed against your skin.

While it would be logical to assume that the logo for Gerber is a baby because it has been manufacturing baby food and baby products for almost 90 years, the dark reality behind this company’s origin is that the founder just really liked to fuck babies.

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17 Replies to “The sordid pasts of wholesome companies”

  1. Moon HalloranLeady

    Hey now ~ if you’ve ever rubbed a bit o’ cocaine on your gums and then had a great big gulp of Coca Cola you have some idea of how wonderful that original shit might have been.

    The babies on the other hand….well…..can’t vouch for that…

  2. Loukia

    Huh. I lost my comment. Take two:

    As if I needed another reason to not set foot in WalMart! That place makes me need drugs/a lobotomy to help me forget the things I’m exposed to! 😉

  3. Loukia

    Huh. I lost my comment. Take two:

    As if I needed another reason to not set foot in WalMart! That place makes me need drugs/a lobotomy to help me forget the things I’m exposed to! 😉

  4. Nobody™

    I’ve never eaten at Chick-Fil-A, but not because of the reasons you mentioned here. The real reason is that it isn’t chicken, it’s actually meat from homeless people. That’s the real reason they’re closed on Sunday, they need a day to butcher homeless people.

  5. Grant

    As I’ve told people before, if you can find a company or country that doesn’t have a dark past then it either has a terrific PR spin machine or it’s been in power for about five minutes.

  6. Blondefabulous

    I was truly disappointed when I got a FB invite to a fundraiser night for one of my roller derby teams at Chick-fil-a. I thought about how stupid it was. Roller derby embraces everyone, no matter what. Gay, straight, Bi, male, female… Hell, last September I competed against a team in Ft. Lauderdale who had 2 transgendered players! (One was named SnipSnip and her # was -2!) Who the heck thought it would be a good idea to have a derby fundraiser at such a narrow minded, oppressive dumbass place?? I don’t have any interest in going to a Chick-Fil-A ever again. Wish I could say the same for Wall to Wall Mart, but until they build a Super Target close to me, I’m sort of stuck! DAMN YOU WAL-MART!

  7. Sheila

    I find it hilarious that no one wants to eat at Chik Fil A because their owner “doesn’t like gay people”.

    I get it, I get it. Go ahead and stay on your soapboxes people.

    Me though? I’ll be eating an extra juicy chicken sandwich with lots of mayo and jack cheese.

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