50 reasons I won’t share, stumble, like, or RT your content and 5 reasons I will.

For those of us who blog or tweet or use social media for any significant portion of our day, there’s little that is more satisfying than seeing our creation shared by others who have appreciated it. Your baby – something you’ve put effort into – has been retweeted or shared on Facebook, or is getting views from Stumbleupon, or even got noticed on the social media wasteland of Google + – and you feel pride in your work. It’s a great feeling when it happens, and it feels like crap when it doesn’t. Why is one piece better than the others? Why didn’t anybody appreciate my awesomeness and share my content with the world at large? See, when I share something you’ve created, I’m making a withdrawal from my bank of credibility with my friends, followers, readers, and fans, with the expectation that it will be repaid with interest as everyone appreciates what I’ve shared with them.  I can’t speak for everyone (although I wish I could – maybe someday when I’m Earth’s supreme ruler), but here are the reasons that I won’t be stumbling, liking, retweeting, or otherwise sharing your content.


  1. It’s too long.
  2. It’s too short.
  3. You misspelled too many words.
  4. You misspelled any words.
  5. You misused your, and you’re.
  6. You misused there, their, and they’re.
  7. You misused its and it’s.
  8. You wrote anything in text speak.
  9. You have the grammar and spelling skills of Sloth from Goonies.
  10. I don’t like you.
  11. I like you but don’t like your online persona.
  12. I like you but not that much.
  13. I don’t support your message.
  14. I’m neutral about your message.
  15. You asked everyone to in a generic way.
  16. You pleaded for everyone to share it in a sad, pathetic way.
  17. It’s terrible.
  18. It’s not great.
  19. It’s marginal.
  20. It’s not creative.
  21. It’s not unique.
  22. I’ve seen it a dozen times before.
  23. There are no photos.
  24. There are too many photos.
  25. You never reply to your followers or friends.
  26. You never share anyone else’s material or comment anywhere.
  27. You share everyone’s material indiscriminately.
  28. You share some people’s material and then keep making a point of the fact that you did so.
  29. It’s thrown together sloppily and haphazardly just so you can meet your posting requirement for Babble.
  30. You ask for your content to be shared every single day.
  31. You call yourself a social media expert.
  32. You call yourself a social media guru.
  33. You call yourself a social media anything.
  34. In the past, you’ve said something negative about me.
  35. In the past, you’ve said something negative about one of my friends.
  36. In the past, you’ve said something negative about Ke$ha, the future Mrs. Avitable.
  37. I don’t know you.
  38. I know you, but you won’t be my friend on Facebook.
  39. I know you, but you don’t follow me back on Twitter.
  40. You’re following less than a hundred people and you have over a thousand followers.
  41. You’re following over a thousand people and you have less than a hundred followers.
  42. It’s a post for BlogHer.
  43. In order to share it, I have to jump through hoops, register, or do anything more than a click.
  44. You want me to share it, stumble it, tweet it, and like it.
  45. It sucks.
  46. It really sucks.
  47. It sucks worse than anything has ever sucked in the whole world.
  48. It has no relevance to me in any way.
  49. It has relevance, but I have other things to do.
  50. It has relevance, I have free time, but I just don’t feel like it.

And the reasons that I will retweet, like, stumble or otherwise share your content?

  1. It made me laugh or cry.
  2. You created something interesting and relevant that is well-conceived and shows that you care about the content you make.
  3. You didn’t ask or plead for your audience to share your content, but your material was something that I enjoyed and you made the sharing tools easy and accessible.
  4. I agreed with your message and supported the cause or need that you are promoting, without any urging from you.
  5. I’ve had sex with you or want to have sex with you in the future.
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44 Replies to “50 reasons I won’t share, stumble, like, or RT your content and 5 reasons I will.”

  1. Annabelle

    Yep. Pretty much sums it up for me too. Minus my non intentions ti marry Ke$ha.

    I must say (and planned to do so tomorrow in my friday randoms post) that I love you a little more thanks to Texts From Benett. That is the funniest thing you’ve shared in a long time.

  2. Benjamin

    Yep, totally understand. I love when someone retweets me or shares my stuff, but I don’t get up in arms asking for it. Likewise, if I did that for your post? It had to be something that impacted me, or that I think my circle will actually get something out of. Anything else just makes you look like a social media whore.

  3. OHmommy

    I just scrolled through your twitter stream to see what you might have RTed lately (I have really enjoyed your suggestions in the past when you posted about them on your blog) hoping to find some great links but you haven’t RTed anything but a video in the last month. 🙁

  4. hello haha narf

    for a while i actually followed the Y U NO twitter account. that begging for retweets and constantly retweeting stupid shit by someone else got way old, way fast. #grrrr!

    i love that everything goes back to sex for you. for me, too. you might be me as a man. a smarter, man. with more body hair. and worse taste in music.


  5. Liz

    It’s thrown together sloppily and haphazardly just so you can meet your posting requirement for Babble.

    Thank you, thank you, thank you. I’m sick of people slathering their halfassed “articles” written for external channels all over their blogs. I wish some people would at least reread their stuff, especially if they’re getting paid for it.

  6. turber

    I think it’s great, that you make clear you’re not a social-media-whore. Of course, we all are in some way, or we wouldn’t be obsessed with Blogs, Twitter, Facebook and all the other stuff we use to kill lifetime (on a daily basis).
    Damn, the pressure can be insufferable these days. That being said, after long consideration, I would not want to have sex with you. But don’t worry, it’s only because you are not Alan Rickman. You do understand that, right?

  7. Sheila

    Your list is pretty much right on, except I think Ke$ha is an idiot and the only person I want to have sex with isn’t a blogger and I already have sex with him whenever I want.

    But, regardless of how awesome your stuff is, I probably still won’t stumble it or whatever it’s called because, quite frankly, I’m really not even absolutely sure as to what that is. #surprise

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