Adam Avitable makes New Year's Resolutions

In 2012, I resolve . . .

Adam Avitable makes New Year's Resolutions

2012 has a lot of promise, and I plan on making the most of it. This will be my year, and these are my New Year Resolutions.

In 2012, I resolve to do the following:

  • Continue to look for new lines to cross and boundaries to push.
  • Punch fewer nuns and shake fewer babies.
  • Push myself to write new material for my stand-up.
  • Do what makes me happy, not what I think others want me to do.
  • Embrace the fact that I am an attention whore and be the best whore I can be.
  • Take a real vacation.
  • Use “crunk” in a sentence.
  • Lose thirty more pounds.
  • Turn thirty-five years old on January 26th.
  • Punch more sharks and shake more ninjas.
  • Earn enough income to hire someone to take care of sales for my business so that I can start traveling to do comedy.
  • Tell those I love how I feel on a consistent and regular basis.
  • See more women naked.
  • Push the envelope on my blog as far as I can.
  • Make another calendar for 2013.
  • Vote.
  • Walk more.
  • Get more critical with my television viewing and pare down my television time.
  • Keep stripping negative influences and negative people out of my life.
  • Remember to stay honest, all the time.
  • Forgive myself for being so fucking awesome.
  • Step outside my comfort zone and try something new.
  • Stop charging so much for mustache rides.
  • Push myself to say “no”.
  • Learn to dance.
  • Sing more, strangle a cat less.
  • Throw away every pair of manties that has a hole in it.
  • Buy more manties.
  • See if you can actually kill someone with kindness.
  • Smile more.
  • Be me.

What about you?

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20 Replies to “In 2012, I resolve . . .”

  1. Benjamin

    I agree with doing what makes you happy. After my divorce, one of the hardest and best things I ever learned was never to do anything I didn’t want to do. Sometimes I have to do things I don’t like, but never without a good reason for wanting to do it anyway.

  2. Elisa

    Look, if I can forgive you for being so fucking awesome, you can totally forgive yourself. Be kind to yourself, A!

    Also, removing negative influences and doing what makes you happy? Really belong on everyone’s list of resolutions. And I’m afraid they give you additional awesome points, sorry! More to forgive yourself for.

  3. Faiqa

    Is it me or did you have several iterations of “cross boundaries” up there?
    Oh, great, now I’m a negative influence.
    Mine are: drink more water, remember I always have a choice and do less things.
    I’m deeming this The Year of the Status Quo. Or Lower. I will also be commenting on your blog more, so you will start commenting on mine again, Attention Whore.

  4. Ben

    Hello, old friend. I’m going to start blogging again and wanted to let you know (providing you even remember me, I used to come here a lot). Apparently, went out of business, so once I figure out how to start a blog roll again you’ll be on it. Hope all is well!

    Ben (daydreamed)

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