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Is There Anything Scarier Than Avitable With Google Glass? Find Out!

So, there’s this little thing called Google Glass:

It’s wearable, voice-activated technology, and I have been invited to participate in their Explorer beta testing project.

These are the glasses:

Google Glass
Just imagine I’m that pretty girl smiling at her awesome glasses

Last night, I got the notification that the glasses are ready for me to order. Yes, order. See, I have to buy them. And I have to fly to Los Angeles, Mountain View, or New York to pick them up and go through a training process to use them. I’m okay with that. The experience of being a beta tester for such a cool new trend is worth it.

Unfortunately, the glasses alone are $1635, with tax, and the travel is going to cost me around $500. That’s $2000 and change that I don’t have right now, and I only have 14 days to purchase them.

“Adam,” you’re saying to yourself, “you make me laugh/you make me cry/you make me think/I hate-read your site because I think you’re obnoxious. How can I help you to do this?”

I’m glad you asked! I don’t want donations, but you can help!


Buy a copy of my book, Interviews with Dead Celebrities, for $15.00 (plus shipping) using the button below. You can buy it for yourself, for someone else, or just to use as toilet paper. For that $15.00, I will do the following:

1. Autograph the book and send it to you;
2. Write an acknowledgments post and include your name, Twitter handle, website, or whatever information you want, thanking you for your support; and
3. Use the Google Glass in some way to thank you or acknowledge your contribution as well.

Deal? And if you share this post and ask others to buy my book too, I’ll . . . be really appreciative and give you an awesome hug next time I see you. With both arms!

Thank you in advance!


Updated on June 7:

What if you already have my book? Or don’t read? Or don’t know how to read? Or think books are so 2000? Or just want something else awesome?

My friend Dave had a great idea – offer other options for people who want to be part of Project Avitaglass.

For $40, you can get a personalized digitally created Avitable cartoon. It will be made exclusively for you! You will also get acknowledgement of your contribution and support, and a big hug!


For $50, you can get a personalized digitally created Avitable cartoon AND an autographed book! AND acknowledgement AND a hug AND maybe I’ll grab your butt when I hug you!


For $100, you will get a personal acknowledgment in the front of my next book! AND a hug AND I’ll whisper sweet nothings in your ear.


For $200, you will get a personal blog post written about you in that unique style that only I can do. It will be at least 300 words and will contain a cartoon created just for the post. The post will be linked to whatever social media you want, and will make you cry, laugh, get aroused, or maybe just smile really big.


And finally, for $300, you get everything. A signed copy of my book. A personalized cartoon. A personal acknowledgement in my next book. A post about you. Additional acknowledgements of your support. A hug. A grope. Sweet nothings. And a lap dance.


As you can probably tell, I’m really serious about this. I want to be a part of the Google Glass project, and I want to give something of value to those of you who want to be a part of Project Avitaglass. Thank you to everyone who decides to buy something, and may God have mercy on your souls.

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15 Replies to “Is There Anything Scarier Than Avitable With Google Glass? Find Out!”

  1. Sarah

    $300 for a lap dance? Are they always that expensive?

    Check back on Monday with me (no, really, follow up with me in case I forget) because I get paid and want to see you in Mountain View to get groped.


  2. sybillaw

    But can they build you a fucking woman with big ol’ boobs like Weird Science?!
    I’m not sure you need another reason to wear bad glasses and walk around looking dorky.
    Well, shit, fucker.
    Send me a text in a few days. I’ll contribute. You know I will.

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